Still Stuck, But Hopefully Moving Soon
For those of you who routinely read my blog, you've probably noticed that I tend to cover a wide variety of topics and I rarely post anything about my own personal life. My aim is always to generate discussions that focus on the core of our human experience, and often I feel that talking about progressive trends in cities is a great way to do this. I've been at this now for about a year and people ask me often what motivates me to continue and to be fully honest I'm never really sure, but I find it quite calming. I want to take the time to give an update not about the world that we live in, but rather about myself as a part of it.
When I first started blogging I chose the name MyStuckMovingLife and I always hoped that nobody would ask me why, because I did not really know the answer. But now I do. I realized that through most, perhaps all, of my life I've felt limited in one way or another, but I've always had a pervasive sense of optimism about the world. I've felt confined and held back, unable to push forward, but I've always hoped that one day things might be different. But now for the first time, it's really all about to be different.
Most of you
don't know much about me or about my life, because very few people do and you are probably not exactly sure what I mean when I say in a very vague sense that my whole world is soon to change. But here it is in a nutshell. I've spent the last three years at a college that was not in any way a good fit for me. For the entirety of my time I've felt drained, frustrated and held back from achieving everything that I want to. That's not to say that I haven't been successful; I'm graduating a year early with excellent grades. Simply put, I've been unhappy and unfulfilled. But I have
7 days left
of classes and then it's all over.
In one week I will reach the end of my 15 year formal academic career; the goal that I've been working towards for 75% of my life will be achieved. The next week I graduate and then only days later I fly to Europe for the vacation I've always dreamed of. I'll be reunited with one of my best friends who I haven't seen in a year, and she and I will travel to Prague, Rome, Florence and Paris together (which I'm sure will provide me with some great material for future posts). And then I will return and start full-time work and enter a new phase of my life, one that I hope to be rich and full of meaning.
It's almost surreal when I think about it, but this is really me. This is my life. I've spent the last 20 years preparing for "the real world" and now it's about to be right here for me to touch. But in some ways the role of the student, at least in my experience, is quite sad. You are told over and over for years on end that you have to prepare for the
and for what you want to do with your life. But all the while you are in fact alive; you are somehow "preparing" for your life while also living your life. It seems like a contradiction to me. I could tell myself that I won't start living until the day that I receive my diploma, but I simply can't accept that any longer.
I am and always have been an active participant in my own life, but it seems that I've only just come to accept it. I've spent preparing for this time, and I'm more ready than ever before to move forward.